on virtue signalling
What's the difference between virtue signalling vs being a respectful person? I think it's a combination of intention+execution. But if you're hellbent on sticking to your ways, that doesn't matter.
The least we could do as humans is to show grace even if we don't understand tho.
People usually attribute virtue signalling to being performative, similar to people-pleasing. Considering how my social environment did condition me to be a people-pleaser, I wondered if this was also applicable to me. But whether or not people like me doesn't change the fact that what I say/do could harm others. This doesn't sit well with me, especially if the subject matters are already being mistreated, marginalised, and oppressed.
If you know me well enough, you know that I assume people don't like me by default. I've upgraded this belief in recent years: most people cannot like me and never will... And that's okay. There are many reasons for this and there is nothing I can do to change it, so it's not something I care to bother with anymore. The only thing I can do is be the best version of me as possible, regardless of how I am perceived.
But not caring how people see me doesn't mean I don't care about other people. And it sure as heck doesn't mean I don't care about how I affect them.
As someone who gets sick often, I am usually in pain. I hate it, and I don't wish it on others because I know how much it sucks. But even if I don't have the ability/strength to carry someone or pull them up, that doesn't mean I would want to kick someone who's already on their knees.
To be clear - my empathy may be fueled by kindness, but it is not altruistic. I don't enjoy causing suffering partly (mostly?) because causing pain hurts me too. I'm not a good person. But I won't stop trying to be.
Despite all the religious indoctrination I got growing up, 'DO NO HARM' is how I've mainly been operating ever since I became an adult. Even if someone is living a truth I don't fully understand, if they are not causing harm, then who am I to judge/oppose/subdue them? This approach to life is practical and just makes sense to me. Is it impossible to do absolutely no harm? Of course, because I'm still human. Should I not even try, because it's humanly impossible? Hell nah. Because at the end of the day I just wanna minimise harm/suffering as much as I can.
I'm aware how small I am and that my efforts are insignificant in the larger scheme of things, but I still want to make this world a kinder place, at least for those I share time and space with.
We all deserve more love and compassion for ourselves and each other. That's all.